Friday, May 6, 2011

status update

Since so many people have asked for the back story to my status update on Thursday, I thought a blog post would be the easiest way to share it.

posted yesterday on FB...

"Aly Vanek Schroeder has a new hero. To the woman who confronted the man at the post office who was verbally abusing his fiancee in front of all of us... Good for you for speaking up! I'm not sure my telling him "you're an ass" was much help... but it's good to know people like you are willing to say the right thing in a most uncomfortable situation!"


So yesterday I was addressing our mother's day cards at a little table inside the Broad Ripple post office when the guy next to me starts talking louder & louder to the woman with him.
Then the following happened:



Guy: (white guy in sweats, messy hair) just shut the f*** up, allright? You don’t know what you’re doing.


No response from girl he’s talking to. (very pretty, skinny girl with dark hair)


Guy: you’re an idiot, you know that? A f***ing idiot.


Hero: (business woman dressed to the nines) you know, you could be a little more respectful.


Guy: and you could mind your own gd business


Hero: you made it my business when you raised your voice in public.


Guy: it’s not your business. You don’t know me or know what the f*** you’re talking about. So again

lady, mind your gd business.


Hero: Listen, I don’t care who you are, you don’t speak to a woman that way. Ever.


Guy: you don’t know me. We’ve been together 10 years. She’s my fiancĂ©. I can speak to her however I want.


Hero: (now raising her voice) I have been married for 20 years and my husband has NEVER raised his voice to me. (now looking at me) you’re married. Does YOUR husband talk to you like that?


Me: Not once.


Guy: oh so now you have an opinion?


Me: you’re an ass.


Hero: (now talking to fiancĂ©) Someone needs to tell you honey that you don’t need to marry this guy. No one should ever treat you that way, especially your husband. There are better men out there. Please, please go find one.


Guy: (to hero) What are you a born again Christian? (not sure where he got this or why he felt it was an insult to the hero) Everyone should just be nice all the gd time? Mind your f***ing business and get the h*** out of my way.


Hero: I'm a decent person who can't stand by while you talk to her that way. You'd better rethink the way you're acting or she's going to wise up and leave your sorry ass.


The hero then goes to the desk & mails her stuff. As she’s doing it, the guy gets in line behind her, followed by me in line behind him. Our hero turns to walk past the line to leave and smiles at me.


In that moment I had so many different things I wanted to say to her.



“my God you’re brave!”

“The world needs more people like you”

“you may have just changed that girl’s future”

“you are amazing”


But all that comes out is “good for you. Good for you!”


We share a smile and a nod… and then she walks out of the post office.


The guy & the girl leave next. He gives me a shitty look and I am certain the tires on my van will be slashed when I get to the parking lot.


I make my way to the desk & recap the story with a now very excited clerk.

I leave feeling sad for the girl & proud of the hero... wishing I had her moxy.




2 comments:

Babs said...

You know what, Aly? I think you do have her moxy. Thanks for sharing this with all of us. It may be what we all need to keep us aware that we ARE responsible for one another.
I'm so proud to call you my daughter-in-law. Andy married up, no doubt about it!

Jill said...

Stuff like this (not that I have ever experienced this, exactly) makes me sweat. That public confrontation brings out the fight or flight in me. Sounds like you did just what you needed to do. I hope the girl from the post office does what she needs to do, too.